Nana's Day

Nana was in good spirits today.  She was reading when I popped in.  She looked up and said, "Well, there's my sweet Circe."  She was laughing and being engaging and inquisitive.  She was so chipper, we covered a lot of subjects.  Nana pulled out a note pad to write down everything I was telling her.  She said, "I want to keep my mind sharp and active."  She wrote down Laura and Gordon's new address, Emily's due date, the location of Samantha's house in Fillmore, everyone's vacation plans. She called me "Mrs. Snoopy" for having the scoop on everyone.  So funny!  Everything I could think of to tell her, she wrote down.  She had been telling me about her dad baptizing her on her birthday, so I started recording with my phone.  It turned out to be really sad, what she said.  It's like her mood clouded over and I captured a moment of naked honesty and despair.  We had just checked her calendar and talked about how the missionaries had been there that morning, teaching Sunday School.  She said that she was the only one who went to listen to them.  She said, "They have given their time and made sacrifices, and we have to support their efforts."  I joked with her and said, "Did you tell them you've already been baptized?"  That's why she was talking about her baptism in Fillmore.  A minute later, when I turned on the camera, she couldn't quite remember about the missionaries, but she still had some residue of good feelings from just having talked about it.  She always speaks with such tenderness when she is talking about the gospel.

After her moment of sorrow caught on camera, Nana was back to her cheerful self, but I know that just under the surface are all the fears of losing her mind and dying.  What else are you going to worry about when you're 98?  Of course she worries about it.  Time is ticking, and I'm so glad we have a little bit left to spend with Nana Ruby.  Even if she forgets everything, the rest of us will remember how valiantly, how cheerfully she fought the battle, how courageously she is enduring to the end.

Here's the link to Nana Ruby, March 25, 2015.