How Do You Feel?

Fantastic!  At least given the amount of traffic that's gone in and out of my veins, spinal column, etc.  I'm wearing a maxi pad the size of a bobsled and my breasts feel like dual carpetbags occupying the space directly in front of me.  And if that's not TMI, my nipples are burning like they spent last night at a disreputable tattoo parlor.  Every few minutes, a contraction comes along to take my mind off the carpetbags by making me wonder if an unseen demon is trying to draw and quarter me.


So I feel good.  Why, does it sound like I don't?  I must feel OK, because I just want to freeze time right here, with a beautiful, pink, five-pound baby to hold, a two-year-old who calls her "TizzyandTziporah," the man of my dreams fixing me French toast and five lovely kids who are bursting with excitement to come home from school and see their new sister.  Forget jumping out of an airplane, forget zip-lining through the Amazon, forget the pyramids and the Acropolis.  This is my bungee jump over Victoria Falls...and it's as breathtaking as the next contraction.