Courage

We like to think we know what life is, we adults who are making our way in the world, learning as we overcome each trial we encounter.  We think we have learned something and sometimes we think we know it all.   My grandmother, Ruby, is 93 years old.   I can't begin to chronicle a life as long and full as Nana's.  If I think I know anything, I have only to look at Nana to know that I have a lot left to discover.  There's hardly anything she hasn't experienced, good and bad.  As a result, she has a lot of wisdom to share, yet regardless of what sophomoric or trivial stage of life I'm in, she has always treated my life experiences with enthusiasm, as if she hasn't seen dozens of youngsters through college, marriage and baby raising.  I have seen her with a serene smile on her face listening to the complaints of young mothers.  She had five kids in five years, ending with twins, and she's been there, but she doesn't use her expertise to diminish our experiences.  Ptolemy must be about her 70th great-grandchild, but every time he visits her, she declares him to be something special. 

Nana Ruby has always advocated a healthy lifestyle, but at 93, as she says, "a lot can go wrong.  You're supposed to be dead!"  Recently, she's had some health problems.  As I was going about my artificially busy day, checking things off my inane list, amidst the sound and the fury of my life, I thought of Nana.  Whatever amount of energy it takes to see me through my day, Nana must have ten times that to see her through the hours of silence.  Recovering from a bout of diverticulitis that had her hospitalized, she is stoically fighting through pain without fanfare and alone.  She has plenty of people who call and visit, but at the end of the day, as she kneels to pray for each one of us, her children, she is alone with her pain and her fear.  "How will I get through this, and what if I don't?"  I can't imagine having the courage to confront that question.  In mythology, the hero always faces the ultimate challenge alone.  Yes, I have a lot to learn.  While anyone can do laundry and drive kids and figure out what to have for dinner, only the most courageous among us can face each day of their 93rd year saying with a smile, "This is nothing I can't handle."  Today instead of checking things off my to do list, I'm going to visit Nana and maybe learn something about being a hero.