The Nutmobile

We got a new van, and it happened so fast, Genesis 1:1 keeps popping into my head.  Creating a world is a bigger job than buying a new car, but the irreverent comparison amuses me.  For Scott, this task had several steps.

1.  Scott took the old van in for some free work related to a recall notice.  The auto shop found $3,500 worth of things wrong with the van.  A plan started to form in Scott's head.  (He's a thinker.  All his plans start out slowly with a lot of groundwork.  When we paint, Scott preps carefully and does a beautiful job. Me, I suddenly choose a new color while standing in the hardware store checkout line and six hours later, a room in our house is somewhat sloppily transformed.) 

And the evening and the morning were the first day.

2.  Scott texted his wife about the three thousand bucks worth of repairs and told her that he just wanted her and the kids to be safe...thus planting the new car seed in her mind.  Then he rested, which God never did until the seventh day, but Scott needed time for the new car seed to germinate.  Because if the wife isn't on board, you might as well throw in the towel.

And the evening and the morning were the second day.

3.  Scott and the world wide web teamed up to find out which van was the best and where he could get it for half of what other people would pay.  He found some vans for sale at places that just happened to be on the way to court, so it wouldn't make sense not to just go look at them.  Right?

And the evening and the morning were the third day.

4.  Scott's wife got a text with links to car descriptions.  She got a phone call from Scott, who was test driving a Honda Odyssey.  He talked about GPS and side air bags and miles and warranties and blue books and ratings.  His wife, in a failed attempt to sound intelligent and engaged said, "What color is it?"

Scott found an even cheaper Honda Odyssey for sale.  It had a sunroof, and he had looked under the hood and found it to be very shiny, which had to be a good sign.  The fact that the van was for sale behind a pawn shop on a seedy street was not a deterrent.  It had a lot of electronic stuff which Scott kept mentioning to his wife, hoping that she'd suddenly take on a completely different personality, one that appreciated car upgrades.  She just kept saying, "I trust you and I love the heated seats.  Black is a good color, and if you say the engine is shiny enough and you think we can afford it, buy it."

 And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.

5.  Scott discovered that the car salesman was the husband of one of our favorite ballet teachers and the dad of two of our VERY favorite Arabian dancer boys!  So he bought the car.  It's not what you know, it's who you know, which works out for us because we know nothing except for the fact that if your sons are exceedingly polite and affable and your wife is an excellent ballet teacher, the car you are selling must be a very good car.  Plus, the salesman gave Scott an Arabian Dance discount and Scott is all about discounts.  He brought the van home to wild excitement from everyone.  Ruby ran to get the Nutcracker DVD, the only DVD we have, because...drumroll please...the van has a DVD player!!  Scott drove everyone around watching The Nutcracker and rolling the windows up and down.

And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.

6.  Then came the problem of selling the old van.  Hours after Scott's wife listed it on KSL, a young man came to look at it.  The asking price was $5,900, but Scott hastened to inform him that we would take $4800.  Scott likes deals so much, he wanted to make sure the guy got a good one from us.  Scott's wife reminded him that he had to be at flute soon, so he left her to negotiate.  He later texted her, "We were early to flute.  I had time to negotiate the price of our van down another thousand dollars. lol."  The wife ended up selling the van to a different guy who offered more money.  He loaded it up on a flatbed and drove away, leaving her with a check that may or may not clear.  (She is very optimistic - not a worrier.  I know, I know, it will catch up with her someday.)  But the check cleared.  Ha! 

And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.

7.  After vehemently making it clear to the family that the DVD player was not to be used except on long road trips, Scott's wife was seen backing out of her driveway with The Nutcracker already playing.  She was seen aimlessly driving around town with no objective because Ptolemy was quietly watching the Fight Scene in the way back and Tziporah was asleep and the heated seat felt so luxurious, it would be crazy to get out of the car.  Given the van's provenance and because there is rarely a time in the car when The Nutcracker isn't on, the Wife dubbed the van The Nutmobile.  It's a good name because it also alludes to the nut who drives it.  The one who, just last week, picked up Golda and Ruby from modern and drove to Charity's house to drop her off like usual, even though Charity wasn't at dance that night and therefore, not in the car.  The same nutty driver who yesterday held her car keys up to her ear when her phone rang.  (Please don't tell anyone about that.)  The moniker also refers to the nuts in the back seats, whether they're screaming, changing their clothes, texting their friends or hanging out the windows.  There is a whole variety of nuts to choose from.

Scott's wife was endlessly grateful for the new van and for a husband who takes such good care of his nuts.  (couldn't resist the double entendre.)

And Scott saw that it was good.  And the evening and the morning were the seventh day, but Scott didn't rest because, even with the new van, he still had to do half the driving and it was time for ballet.